MY BIRTH STORY AND WHY IT WASN’T THE STORY I WANTED TO WRITE
I myself didn’t have the best experience with my childbirth, it wasn’t bad and this is not a birth horror story but afterwards it got me thinking, how could I have made this better. I mean I know it’s too late but what about if I birthed again or for others birthing. I became a prenatal yoga teacher through a love of yoga and a need of finding a new career as my ‘old’ life of flight attendant didn’t seem fitting now. I then became a Hypnobirthing teacher and started spreading the magic which let us just call it VOICE.
When I found out I was pregnant I was so excited but the nerves kicked in pretty soon as I started to think about birth and how this baby was actually going to come out of me!
I went to pregnancy yoga classes which were great for my growing physical body but unfortunately did nothing for my mind and birth education (Are my classes different today? I hope so!) My husband and I went to the hospital Antenatal classes which in fact made me more fearful as they told me all about the drugs on offer and the instruments like forceps they would use to get my baby out of me.
I read all the books but none of them wrote about birth in a positive light (this was eight years ago and yes things have changed since then) and made it out to be a medical routine procedure where quite possibly things would go wrong and I would get a c section. FEAR KICKED IN as I wanted a natural birth. I’ve learnt since that FEAR is just False Evidence Appearing Real. Yes you heard it there. False evidence appearing real so basically all in the mind! But my mind was definitely in a bad place.
So I buried my head in the sand and told myself don’t read anymore just wing it and all will be fine I mean the Doctors and midwives know what they are doing I am in safe hands. And yes I was in safe hands BUT… I went for a routine appointment two days before my due date and I casually said I haven’t had time to stop and feel baby move as I’ve been so busy moving house and yes I know I was crazy moving at this time! Before I knew it me and my Mum were hurried out of the door and sent over to the hospital for a scan. All fine as yes I wanted to be safe but what happened next I didn’t realise I HAD THE POWER to control.
Everything was fine as the scan showed and my baby was perfectly safe, happy and moving. And quite happily growing and developing as they continue to do at this stage. I was then told to come back the next day at 2 pm for an induction of labour. But why? Baby was fine. I was fine so why was I being induced? And why not now if any problems why 2 pm tomorrow that’s like a whole another day away. I don’t know why as I’m writing this now and maybe with everything that I now know or just the fact I have a clearer mind (as Im not pregnant and no pesky hormones clouding my judgement) that I didn’t think to query this. I guess as I had been told by the Doctor, the man in the white coat, that this was going to happen so I just followed suit. It didn’t even occur to me what was happening as no one explained it, but then again I didn’t ask any questions as I didn’t know what to ask or that I had the right to ask or query.
So I went in and was induced. The induction was taking its time apparently which I later found out is totally normal if baby isn’t ready to be born. So my waters were broken. I didn’t have a clue what was happening and I went into full active labour with the pain attached to it. No warm up. Bang straight in. I wasn’t in control, I had no one to encourage me to breathe deeply as my contractions had such little time in between to focus, and all I wanted was the drugs which when I got them made me unaware of what was happening. Agaian why did I not know this? I just knew there were drugs to help with pain. I only came round when my baby was actually coming out which by the way I was pushing and screaming like crazy because that’s what I had seen in the movies right so why wouldn’t I do that too.
So after the birth of my beautiful little boy there were many questions in my head. Why was I induced? Turns out it was hospital protocol once you have been in for a scan. Which I later found out I could have said no to. Why were my waters broken? To initiate active labour but maybe if I had asked for more time this would have been avoided. Maybe I would have gone into active labour on my own. Maybe my whole birth story could have been written differently if I knew what I knew today – especially the screaming and panting to get my baby out so don’t watch birth on the tv!
If you have questions, ask and get the answers that you understand. Join me on my Hypnobirthing and birth preparation courses and learn with me. And what’s more mom it is much more easily assessed and not just for those in person but now online too so worldwide self paced or online live and guided by me. Whatever your needs I will be here on your side and by your side.